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Showing posts with label interesting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interesting. Show all posts

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Sometimes face lift is not enough...


A woman decides to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply. "I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29."

"Nope, I'm 47." Now, she's feeling really good about herself.

She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk the same burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay, how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,
how could you tell?" The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise", she says. He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Friday, 20 January 2012

Customer Care in 2020 (funny)


Customer Care in 2020 (funny)





Operator: Hello Pizza Hut!
Customer: Hello, can you please take my order?

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah! Hold on..... My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610

Operator : OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.
Customer: (Astronished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza...
Operator : That's not a good idea Sir.

Customer: How come?
Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?
Operator : Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?
Operator : You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week, sir.

Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then.
Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.

Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?
Operator : I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $1,51,758 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.
Operator : You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've even your overdraft limit.

Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?
Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.
Customer: What?
Operator : According to the details in system ,you own a motorcycle registration number 1123.
Customer: " ????" (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)

Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic... In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.

Customer: (now pissed) ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))
Operator: Better watch your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 you were imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman...?

Customer: Faints... 

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Weird Facts



    Ø  It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

    Ø  It's been proven that people can lessen reactions to allergies by laughing.

    Ø  Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

    Ø  The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

    Ø  February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

    Ø  Tomato Ketchup was once used as medicine in the United States. Was sold as "Dr.Miles Compound Extract of Tomato"

    Ø  Dating back to the 1600's, thermometers were filled with Brandy instead of mercury

    Ø  Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

    Ø  Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.

    Ø  A nautical mile measures 6,080 feet while a land or statute mile is 5,280 feet

    Ø  No one can drown in the Dead Sea. It is 25 percent salt, which makes the water very heavy

    Ø  Earth's oceans contain 7,500,000,000 kil grams of gold, dissolved in the water

    Ø  Children who are breastfed tend to have an I.Q. seven points higher than children who are not

    Ø  If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth. If you are left hander, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.

    Ø  To make half a kilo of honey, bees must collect nectar from over 2 million individual flowers

    Ø  Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by 'Bayer'.

    Ø  Communications giant Nokia was founded in 1865 as a wood-pulp mill by Fredrik Idestam.

    Ø  Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

    Ø  Ancient Roman, Chinese and German societies often used urine as mouthwash.

    Ø  The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. In the Renaissance era, it was fashion to shave them off!

    Ø  Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.

    Ø  Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

    Ø  Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years

    Ø  Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.

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