Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Son Story

 Son Story

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He is so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norms so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third mans son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I am not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chicos been a hairdresser, and I have just recently discovered he is gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."
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Funny Fastest Thing You Know

Here is one for your Canadian buddies...

Four men were sitting around a conference room table being interviewed for a job.
The interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A thought.
It pops into your head, there is no forewarning that it is on the way; it is just there.
A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That is very good," replied the interviewer.
"And now you, sir," he asked the second man.

"Hmmm, let me see..... a blink", said the second man.
"It comes and goes and you do not know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!", said the interviewer.
"The blink of an eye. That is a very popular cliché for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out on my dads ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there is a light switch. When you flip that switch, way across the pasture the light at the barn
comes on in an instant.
Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man.

"It is hard to beat the speed of light.", he said.

Turning to the fourth man, a Newfoundlander, he posed the same question.

"After hearing the three previous answers, it is obvious to me the fastest thing known is diarrhea," said the Newfie.

"What!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh, I can explain," said the Newfie.
"You see, the other day I was not feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I shit my pants."

He got the job.

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