:::::::::::::::::::::::::Joke
FOR Marketing Professional::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A
new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the
street.
A
tall lady answered the door.
Before
she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and
opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the
carpet.
"Madam,
if I could not clean this up within 5 minutes with the use of this new Powerful
Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do
you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" .asked the lady.
The
bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
#
"There's
no electricity in the house..." said the lady
::::::::::::::::::::::::::Joke
For HR Manager::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
HR
Manager in Heaven
One
day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager
was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where
she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome
to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a
Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do
with you."
"No
problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well,
I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a
day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want
to spend an eternity in."
"Actually,
I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman
"Sorry,
we have rules..."
And
with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down
to hell.
The
doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a
beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front
of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and
they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and
kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an
excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed
an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She
met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a
great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that
before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved
goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The
elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St.
Peter waiting for her.
"Now
it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24
hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great
time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got
her.
"So,
you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must
choose your eternity,"
The
woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say
this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better
time in Hell."
So
St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back
to Hell.
When
the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate
wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in
rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The
Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I
don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and
had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends
look miserable."
The
Devil looked at her smiled and said
...
...
...
....
....
....
....
....
"Yesterday
we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"
Hope
u all liked it...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Joke
FOR Finance Guy:::::::::::::::::::::::::
A
young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
"This
is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The
barber puts a £5 coin in one hand and two £1 coins (1+1=2) in the other, then
calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The
boy takes the two £1 coins and leaves.
"What
did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later,
when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice
cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why
did you take two £1 coins instead of £5 coin?"
The
boy licked his cone and replied,
"Because
THE DAY I TAKE THE £5 COIN, THE GAME IS OVER."
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Moral
of the Story: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of
yourself.
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